About the author:
Mr. Walter “Patrick” Martin II, M.A is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist, whom initially I graduating in 1989 and honored as the youngest to ever graduate with an Associate’s of Arts degree at Palomar College. Mr. Martin undergraduate was completed at California State University San Marcos and Masters Degree at National University in 1999 in Counseling Psychology. Mr. Martin has worked in private practice working with couples since 1999 and now works in San Marcos California helping couples through life’s journey each day. This book is dedicated to my mother, father and grandmother.
Couples workbook on communication which is the key to developing intimacy in our relationships. Disagreement happen, problems will arise. We feel love when we know that our feelings are heard, remembered, and honored.
Our quest for happiness often depends on finding and sustaining love. True love implies commitment. First of all, do you and your partner call yourself a couple? If not, is it appropriate to be doing this work? Each relationship teaches us and deepens our perception of love. Love has many degrees. Committed couples grow together, they desire to make their partner happier, too.
Daily Dialogue is an intentional effort to talk about your relationship, rather than discussing your activities that day. The focus of this dialogue should be on your feelings about each other and your lives together.
Set aside 15 minutes per day to discuss the following:
What did you most enjoy about your relationship today?
What was dissatisfying about your relationship today?
How can you be helpful to each other?
Daily Compliments help you focus on the positive things you like about each other. Every day give your partner at least one genuine compliment. These can be general (you are fun to be with) or specific (I appreciate that you were on time for the concert).
1. Give full attention to your partner when talking. Turn off the phone, shut off the television, make eye contact.
2. Focus on the good qualities in each other and often praise each other.
3. Be assertive. Share your thoughts, feelings, and needs. A good way to be assertive without being critical is to use I rather than You statements. (e.g. I worry when you do not let me know you will be late, rather than, You are always late).
4. Avoid criticism.
5. If you must criticize, balance it with at least one positive comment. (e.g. I appreciate how you take the trash out each week. In the future can you remember to also wheel the trash can back from the end of the driveway?.)
6. Listen to understand, not to judge.
7. U se active listening. Summarize your partner ís comments before sharing your ow n reactions or feelings.
8. Avoid blaming each other and work together for a solution.
9. For problems that come up again and again, use the SMART goals to create a specific, measurable, achievable, resourced, time sensitive goal.
10. Seek counseling. If you are not able to resolve issues, seek counseling before they become more serious.
Heart and Soul Toward Intimacy: Couples Guide has great results.
First of all, do you and your partner call yourself a couple? Each relationship teaches us and deepens our perception of love. Let me help the two of you relate to each other in a loving, enriching way that will solidify you as a couple.
Feb. 8, 2015 / PRZen / SAN DIEGO —
The counselor and therapist, Walter Patrick Martin, MA, LMFT, has touched many hearts and souls through his practice of counseling in San Diego County. Mr. Martin has been honored by San Diego County HHSA director for his committed dedication to work with families in the Family Assistance Centers in both the 2004 and 2006 firestorms. In addition Mr. Martin was recognized for his enthusiasm, professionalism and dedication with Hurricane Katrina relief efforts.Since 1997 Mr. Martin has worked with thousands who suffer through grief, trauma or loss.
Heart and Soul toward Intimacy: A Couples Guide is a self-help book that promises to offer a new perspective on healing and renewed belief in life after loss of trust and chaos which develops within any hardship in a relationship. This can degrade your bonds with your mate. Walter Martin wrote this book because he noted that many books on the market read a lot like a text book or a story, but did not have short practical solutions to decrease anxiety and develop a deeper, closer and more meaningful relationship. This book is to help relight a struggling marriage and teach you how to play with each other again.When couples are unhappy, often what keeps them apart are unmet needs. Within this book I have laid out a blueprint such that you can help yourself and your partner learn new communication skills so both of you can express what you really want and need. Being heard by your partner leads to meaningful connections and that creates a deeper understanding with each other. No one wants to be in a relationship where you do not feel like your partner can hear you. This can lead to hurt feelings, sadness, resentment and anger. Let me help the two of you relate to each other in a loving, enriching way that will solidify you as a couple. If you love each other, let me help you find your way back.The steps outlined in the book are offered with compassion and understanding from a place of personal experience. The end result is a feeling of wholeness, allowing the reader to finally enjoy the peace and lifelong happiness they deserve.