Family Counseling San Diego EMDR LENS Neurofeedback

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Family Counseling San Diego EMDR LENS Neurofeedback

Direct Neurofeedback LENS Oshslabs

Call 858-217-5770 To Schedule a Visit

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Family Counseling San Diego EMDR LENS Neurofeedback

Welcome to our professional group of doctors and therapists were our seasoned clinicians integrate safe, effective, research-based treatment that focuses on solutions in addition to utilizing cutting-edge technology.

Mr. Walter Patrick Martin LMFT began this group practicing in 1999, Walter is known for his positive narrative visualization technique through EMDR, Dr. AJ Popky DeTUR addiction protocol. Mr. Walter Martin was honored to assist Dr. AJ Popky in his professional EMDRIA 2-day training. In addition, Mr. Walter Martin wrote a workbook for couples treatment “Heart and Soul Toward Intimacy: Couples Workbook” Mr. Walter Martin leads a seasoned group of clinicians who integrate a safe, effective, brief solution focused treatment in combination a cutting-edge technology is known as Low Energy Neurofeedback System (LENS) by Oshslabs. This is a direct neurofeedback that nudges the brain out of maladaptive brainwave patterns, allowing the brain to restore homeostasis, reset itself for optimal performance. Mr. Walter Martin’s unique approach combining LENS with ACT, CBT, MI, EFT, Mindfulness Therapy and EMDR. Rapidly decrease symptoms therapies over most other appeaches in San Diego County. Clients report improvement dramatically and quickly. This is no quick fix approach but does not require 30-50 session like typical Neurofeedback were you have to work hard to retain your brain.  Direct LENS we expect results in 5 to 10 sessions. LENS improves your overall quality of life by utilizing the latest technology and begin the steps to immediately get better sleep and less anxiety. Research indicates enduring results by restoring optimal brain functioning. Many state “This has changed my life”, “I have not had a full night of sleep over 20 years” and “Everything is so much brighter now.” This comments by patients occurred after the second treatment with the LENS.

We are offering a payment plan such that you can afford treatment now as most insurances do not fully cover LENS or Neurofeedback. 

A great LENS therapist in LA is Dr. Dubin and The Dubin Clinic which has great information about LENS.


What is the right approach for you?

The FCSD treatment team leverages a variety of treatment modalities to better meet your needs. While we are here to guide you and find the “best fit” to help obtain your treatment goals, some clients prefer to seek a specific type of treatment. Others simply wish to know more about the treatment modalities they are exploring. When available, we have also provided links to resources that our clients may find of interest (e.g. relevant videos; treatment worksheets).

Please note that certain treatment modalities are implemented by only select FCSD team members. To be matched to a therapist by treatment type contact our office manager.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a “third wave” psychological treatment that integrates the key elements of many popular therapies that preceded it (e.g. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy; Mindfulness Therapies). ACT begins by taking the power away from unhelpful thoughts by changing the relationship we have with them. It then explores ways to promote positive behavioral change in the face of strong emotions by having one be mindful of and work towards their goals (e.g. values and achievements). It promotes real-life action that may, in turn, resolve strong emotions that previously had one moving away from what is truly important to them.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is the most widely used and researched form of psychotherapy for the treatment of mental illness and other difficulties. It can be used as a primary method of treatment, but also provides a foundation to many other treatments used by the FLEX team.

CBT is “problem-focused” and “action-oriented.” This means it targets specific problems that one is facing and can be a quick way to target focused difficulties one wants to resolve. Treatment focuses on identifying maladaptive responses to one’s environment due to “cognitive distortions.” These distortions reflect misinterpretations or misunderstandings of our environment that ultimately lead to ineffective behaviours. The goals of CBT are to: identify those distortions, learn new ways to interpret one’s environment and have a different outcome as a result.

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) is an eclectic treatment that borrows from CBT, mindfulness therapies, and other self-regulatory treatments. It focuses on practical training, exercises, and psychoeducation to promote increased emotional and cognitive regulation.

DBT assumes that clients are doing their best to manage strong emotions and reactive states, but that they can obtain greater success and wellness through skill building. Participants in DBT learn about emotional triggers that lead to reactive states, coping skills to apply at the right time and place, and other mechanisms to avoid undesired reactions.

DBT supports often require ongoing client “check-in’s” between sessions to facilitate positive habits and skill building. These “check-in’s” may require an additional fee.

Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT)

Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) aims to increase one’s connection and understanding of their emotional experience. By recognizing the adaptive functions of emotion, EFT increases one’s ability to recognize how their emotional experience can guide their actions, facilitate individual growth, and shape future goals and directions.

EFT recognizes that emotions can be difficult to manage and process, but aims to increase tolerance for these emotions and the ability to use their emergence in a constructive manner.

Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy

Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are treatment methods that can be integrated into several of the other treatment methods used by some members of the FCSD team. The aim of the treatment is to assist an individual to enter a deep state of focus and relaxation that permits one to work on goals without being countered by negative emotions or worries. It allows any place and time to be the “right” place and time to resolve difficulties and move forward in a positive manner. It has a high efficacy in: treating fears and phobias, the management of difficult situations (e.g. anxiety around medical procedures or other upcoming events), or providing momentary relief from high levels of stress.

Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT)

Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) identifies how our relationships and life events impact our emotional state. It examines how negative relationships, our attachments, and our responses to events can have a negative impact on our mood. The goal is to identify or “map” out these relationships and events in order to find positive pathways that promote wellness and positive emotions.

Motivational Interviewing (MI)

Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a goal-oriented and directive treatment that focuses on breaking down “ambivalence” as a barrier to success and wellness. It aims to trigger the development and engagement of intrinsic motivation to have a client move forward and beyond areas where they have previously appeared stuck or disinterested in change.

MI is a non-judgemental approach that aims to increase a client’s awareness of the potential consequences of action or inaction, providing alternative solutions to move forward into the future.

Mindfulness Therapies

Mindfulness-based therapies aim to provide increased “awareness” to what one is experiencing in the present moment. It is anchored in the idea that distress and distraction can be a consequence of one’s attention being pulled into the future (i.e. worry), the past (i.e. sadness or rumination), or too unimportant distractions in our environment.

The treatment focuses on increasing the capacity to control attention in order to make the next action, moment, or through a deliberate one (with “attention” comes “intention”).

Variations on Mindfulness can assist with ADHD, empathy building, and relaxation. Mindfulness can form the foundation of a treatment or, more commonly, is complementary to other therapeutic approaches.

Narrative Therapy

Narrative therapies focus on better understanding a client’s “story” to determine how they have gotten to the place they are now and how they may move forward into the future. It examines your previous life experience to form a clearer story of how one has gotten to the here and now. It aims to identify and fill in gaps in order to better understand the full complexities of one’s experience. By reliving these events in more detail, the client can better understand their experiences and how these experiences currently are shaping them. By reflecting and exploring new meaning, a new story emerges that is enriched and provides a therapeutic reconstruction of history and the future.

Play Therapy

Play therapy refers to a variety of assessment and treatment techniques that make use of a child’s natural ability to play. Often children have difficulty understanding and expressing their thoughts and emotions, as they don’t have the language to make themselves heard. A trained therapist engages the child through fun, non-threatening activities, which help to decrease the child’s anxieties about their problems and worries, allowing them to express themselves more freely. The family is often involved in the process to help the therapist understand the family dynamic and assist in generalizing skills into the home.

The overall goal is to help the child express his/her thoughts and emotions, and support them in learning healthy coping skills and solutions. Play therapy provides children with a safe, encouraging environment to express their true thoughts and feelings, in a way that suits their developmental level.

Psychodynamic Therapies

Psychodynamic therapies can incorporate a range of approaches that stem from the idea that individuals can experience internal conflicts that have resulted from previous life experiences. The therapy is “insight-oriented” in that it attempts to help the client identify these conflicts, recognize the nature of the challenges they are experiencing, and how some of the “defenses” that they use to cope may be maladaptive. It attempts to facilitate the development of alternative coping mechanisms by increasing awareness of the conflicts and defenses, changing the meaning/understanding of contributing events, and fostering a positive relationship between the client and the clinician.

Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy (REBT)

Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy (REBT) shares many similarities with CBT, but tries to make the process as simple as ‘A B C’. The basis of REBT is that negative experiences (both internal and external) result from a life event (A – Activating Event), our interpretation of the factors or causes of that event (B – Belief), and the emotions or actions that result from that interpretation (C – Consequence).

REBT  aims to identify alternative interpretations (B – Belief) and to determine whether this results in different experiences (C – Consequence) after the fact. It is a treatment that involves introspection and real-life experimentation.

TRAIN BRAIN FUNCTION

Neurofeedback directly impacts brain function, using real-time displays of brain activity (measured by an EEG device), to teach the brain self-regulation, treating a range of brain disorders.

USED IN CLINICS FOR YEARS

Neurofeedback has been used in clinics around the world for decades. Clinical research has shown it to be effective in treating many neurological conditions with lasting results.

NON-INVASIVE

The MUSE EEG Neurofeedback treatment is done using a headset with dry electrodes that sit on the forehead and behind the ears, is non-invasive, and has no side effects. More new technology coming to our office every month. We invest in your health without medications.


LENS (Low Energy Neurofeedback System) is a newer form of neurofeedback that we offer at our clinic. This non-invasive and quick treatment option has been used for 20-plus years. It has been shown to diminish problems associated with dysregulation of the central nervous system such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, mood dysregulation, brain injury, attentional issues, and learning and memory problems.

  • Recent, acute or less complicated symptoms may resolve in less than 20 sessions.
  • If you are more sensitive or have a history of complicated or chronic problems, you may need more than 20 sessions. It has been our experience that people with complex developmental trauma may need a few years of LENS treatment in combination with other modalities in order to fully benefit.
  • We keep explanation simple and request you to complete online LENS Questionnaire prior to treatment to expedite your time in the office.
  • We utilize what your insurance provides and you only pay for the LENS equipment administration time. Look at FEES at the menu above.

People who are familiar with EEG Neurofeedback as entrainment (playing games and moving things on the screen with a mind).  LENS is dys-entrainment, faster, broad-ranging, non-intrusive as its non-pharmaceutical, customized by your own brain. This is what we help to do. At FamilyCounselingSanDiego, we integrate this new cutting-edge treatment approaches technology to expedite treatment success. We also utilize positive psychology, solution focused, dialectical, mindfulness counseling, brain nutrition, and multiple types of which will be discussed with you during your intake session at which time we create your treatment plan to find a route to symptom relief as quickly as possible. LENS is at the forefront of new brain technologies. It is unique in terms of how it works, the wide range of its benefits, and the speed and effectiveness with which it works. LENS is particularly effective for anxiety, depression, ADD and traumatic brain injury.


  • We are on more than 15 different insurance panels such as Optum, Tri-Care West, Healthnet, MHN, UHC, Humana, Cigna, Aetna, IEHP, and others are accepted.
  • There are problems with some insurances from some university/company employees such as UCSD and Healthnet. They have a special contract to provide mental health services through Optum Behavioral Health not MHN (Managed Health Network) which is owned by Healthnet and typically were patients go through to get services. So please do call the number on the back of your insurance card to find out what Mental Health Provider is your company is currently contracted with. Also, remember that all medium to large companies have Employee Assistance Program (Preventative Counseling is free and confidential through a number that your HR department gives you.) We are on most plans and if not we can get on your plan quickly. We are devoted to helping you achieve your goals and feel better quickly.

The EEG field, like the ones that surround digital watches and wires in the wall, to carry feedback to the person receiving it. The feedback travels down the same wires carrying the brain waves to the amplifier and computer. Although the feedback signal is weak, it produces a measurable change in the brainwaves without conscious effort from the individual receiving the feedback. The LENS software allows the EEG signals that are recorded at the scalp to control the feedback.

The almost undetectable feedback power uses a frequency that is different from but correlates with, the dominant brainwave frequency. When exposed to this feedback frequency, the EEG amplitude distribution changes in power. Most of the time the brain waves reduce power, but at times they also increase in power. In either case, the result is a changed brainwave state and much greater ability for the brain to regulate itself.

When stress or other outside factors, or biologically based mechanisms, disturb the nervous equilibrium, this type of relaxation modality can catalyze the brains own ability to rebalance, which to the stressed individual, can be experienced as a reversal effect and affect typically problematic high powered slow waves.

When used toward this end (it’s not a medical device; it’s an educational tool for somatic re-education and relaxation) the central nervous system learns to re-tone its own reactions to stimulation. The size of one’s neurological reaction reduces, which helps the person to be more discerning and function at a higher level.

Our personal experience with the LENS started with the recovery of trauma and also facilitated a reduction in pain.  Because each person is different there is no way of knowing the exact effect the LENS will have on an individual.  But our goal is a more relaxed, less stressed, better functioning and focused individual.

 

 


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High-Tech Solution for ADHD Symptom Reduction

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Neuromodulatation Therapy: A High-Tech Solution for Symptom Reduction
Back in 2014 the Drake Institute integrated our newest cutting edge technology, neurostimulation, into our treatment systems to further advance our clinical care programs. This new technology had such a positive impact on the results of many of our patients’ treatments that we’ve now fully integrated it into our treatment protocols for 2018, enabling our patients to receive much needed therapeutic relief from their symptoms faster than ever before.

What is Neurostimulation?
Neurostimulation provides therapeutic neuromodulation of dysregulated brain functioning (abnormal brain wave patterns) linked to symptoms, helping to enhance and accelerate therapeutic improvement from neurofeedback. Neurostimulation is helping the brain achieve more normalizing functioning more rapidly to reduce symptoms. It is not only safe but highly clinically effective. This process is so powerful that neuromodulation technology is now used around the globe in many world-renowned medical centers such as Harvard University School of Medicine, Mayo Clinic, and UCLA School of Medicine, just to name a few.

Benefits of Neuromodulation Treatment
Our instrumentation is non-invasive. We use NeuroField technology for neurostimulation that utilizes a very low intensity pulsed electromagnetic field generator (pEMF), transcranial Direct Current Stimulation (tDCS), and transcranial Alternating Current Stimulation (tACS). We feel that the NeuroField instrumentation is the most advanced in the world in integrating neurostimulation with neurofeedback to optimize patient improvement.

We have found much faster improvement in symptom reduction and more normalization of post-treatment brain maps by adding these neuromodulation devices to our traditional treatment processes, allowing patients from ages 4 to 103 years old to achieve better and quicker treatment outcomes.

A dysregulated brain, as seen in many disorders such as those listed below, not only produces debilitating symptoms but limits the capacity of the individual to meet the demands of everyday life. Our goal at the Drake Institute is to help patients improve or optimize brain functioning, thus giving relief to symptoms and improving one’s ability to meet everyday demands.

Often the brain needs additional help to be able to regulate itself better and function in a healthier, more balanced state. Our neurostimulation treatment shows the brain how to regulate better so the brain can learn to do it on its own with reinforcement from neurofeedback.

What is Neuromodulation Therapy?
The neuromodulation can stimulate a brainwave pattern that the dysregulated brain is deficient in. The dysregulated brain is being guided in what to do so the brain can then mimic or emulate the stimulation to regulate healthier brainwave patterns.

Because the stimulation is so mild, the brain can copy it. The healthier brain wave patterns are then reinforced and self-generated with neurofeedback treatment/training. The process can also increase blood flow in damaged areas and reduce inflammation.

In sum it is a two-step process of the combination of neurostimulation and neurofeedback: neurostimulation to generate the initial, more normalized brainwave activity, and then reinforced with neurofeedback by training the brain to generate these healthier patterns on their own for improved functioning and self-regulation.

An analogy to neurostimulation would be learning how to hit a forehead stroke in tennis. Imagine that your tennis instructor holds your wrist and moves your arm through the correct motion as you hit the tennis ball. Every time you now hit the tennis ball with the correct motion, controlled or guided by your instructor with hands-on, your brain and body are learning the motion. After several hundred repetitions, you can then replicate the tennis swing automatically on your own as it has been wired into your nervous system and body.

Neurostimulation has a similar effect by creating new neural pathways that are more optimal for healthy functioning and symptom reduction.

How Does Neurostimulation Work?
The neurostimulation is guided by a brain map. First, the qEEG brain map is performed to identify brainwave patterns which are dysregulated that are linked to symptoms. For example, the brain could be overstimulated which is seen in anxiety disorders, insomnia, Tourette’s Disorder, OCD, and Autism spectrum disorders or could be understimulated as is commonly seen in ADHD. The brain is literally “stuck” in abnormal patterns that sustain the symptoms and discomfort. The mild neurostimulation from the NeuroField therapy can assist the brain in getting unstuck from those abnormal patterns, and thus priming it for retraining more easily with neurofeedback into stable, healthier patterns.

An additional benefit of the neurostimulation is its enhancement of neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to reorganize and form more functional healthier connections).

Sometimes the qEEG brain map shows such severe abnormalities of dysregulation and imbalances that it can be very difficult for the patient to generate a normal brainwave pattern on its own. Therefore, if you can’t produce the healthier, more functional brainwave pattern in the first place, then it is not present or available to reinforce with neurofeedback!

In these cases with the most severe abnormalities and symptoms, neurostimulation becomes even more important and essential. The neurostimulation can bypass this problem by mildly stimulating brain functioning into a healthier balance, which then gets reinforced by neurofeedback to further stabilize the improvements.

Benefits of Neuromodulation & Neurostimulation
Neurostimulation and neurofeedback not only can train the brain to more normalized,functional patterns, but also can also improve the connectivity of the brain whereby different networks or regions work together better in synchrony which improves the speed and efficiency of information processing.

Treatment protocols are modified from a repeat qEEG brainmap, typically midway through treatment, as symptoms improve.

All of our treatment protocols are derived from the already existing, vast scientific research literature. Over the last several decades there have been many clinical studies in pEMF therapy (electromagnetic therapy) published in scientific research that report the positive clinical improvements.

Transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) was first used to facilitate neuroplasticity and recovery from brain injuries, including strokes. Research has shown tDCS to improve ADHD, Autism, Parkinson’s Disease, concentration, working memory, mathematical and language learning skills.

With traumatic brain injury and post-concussive syndrome, there can be neurophysical injury resulting in long-lasting deficits throughout a patient’s life unless brain functioning can be improved. We have found the neurostimulation treatment to be essential and life improving in these patients.

The Drake Institute has successfully treated patients for the following disorders who improved from neurostimualtion, usually in conjunction with neurofeedback:

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)
Autism Spectrum Disorders
Tourette Syndrome
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Insomnia
Anxiety
Panic Disorder
Depression
Migraine Headaches
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Traumatic Brain Injury (Post Concussive Syndrome)
Stroke
Back pain
Parkinson’s Disease
Multiple Sclerosis

Is there a better way to treat ADHD? Do you hate the side effects of ADHD medications? It is possible to no longer struggle with your ADHD anymore and be able to interact normally with peers and teachers. Disregulation of the brain is a neurophysology condition that compromises childs ability to focus, not picking up on social cues, impulsiveness, unable to sustain friendships. Watch video below to help understand what we are doing at our clinic with LENS (Low Energy Neurofeedback System).

 

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CES FDA Approved Anxiety, Mood and Sleep Disorders

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CES FDA Approved Anxiety, Mood and Sleep Disorders

Treat Symptoms with Advanced Technology CESultra with 20 years of FDA approval

Designed collaboratively by world-class engineers and doctors, the CESultra Stimulator uses patented waveforms to gently stimulate the brain to produce serotonin and other neurochemicals responsible for healthy mood and sleep.

Unlike antidepressant medication that inhibits neuronal receptors from absorbing serotonin, the CESultra and Alpha-Stim Simulator enables the brain to produce serotonin naturally while improving the brain’s ability to regulate the limbic system.

Proven in multiple published studies, the device is cleared by the FDA to treat depression, anxiety and insomnia, as well as chronic pain when used on the body. Watch the video to learn how easy it is to use.

 When you ready to learn new ways to cope with stress come by Family Counseling Poway so you can unwind and stop the cycle of that negative voice in your head.

That negative self image which brings you down and prevents you from socializing. It is not easy to come to counseling and seek out someone else to help guide you back to center and assist you in finding balance in your life.

  • Are stress and anxiety putting a strain on your relationships and affecting your health?
  • Are you feeling overwhelmed, unable to enjoy spending time with your family, friends, or your children?
  • Stressed Overwhelmed Anxious?
  • Are you so worried about the future that you are feeling hopeless and depressed?

We provide counseling within a safe, supportive, caring environment, so you can face your difficulties constructively and confidently.

Let us free you to enjoy all of the good things life has to offer. If you are struggling with relationship issues, anxiety, depression, or need help healing from abuse or trauma, we can help.

Family Counseling Poway can get you back on track. CES FDA Approved Anxiety, Mood and Sleep Disorders.

Q. What research is there as to the safety and effectiveness of CES?

A. There are approximately 1,000 articles on CES therapy many of which are listed in four reviews put out by the Foreign Service Bulletin of the United States Library of Congress. This is in addition to the wealth of physiological and bio-engineering data on electrosleep and electroanesthesia in animals. As of this writing there are more than 100 research studies on CES in humans and 18 experimental animal studies. The efficacy of CES has been clinically confirmed through the use of 28 different psychometric tests. The significance of CES research for treating anxiety has also been reconfirmed through meta-analyses conducted at the University of Tulsa and at the Department of Health Policy and Management , Harvard University School of Public Health. The full body of research can be accessed at this website.

Cranio-Electro Stimulation (CES) is a non-invasive brain stimulation that applies a small pulsed electric current across a person’s head.

As Far back as the first century, the Greeks and Romans used the electric eel, a variety of the “Torpedo Fish” for electrical stimulation. First century writings record placing a live torpedo fish under the feet of a person suffering from gout to ease the pain. There are also reports of placing these fish on people’s foreheads to treat headaches.

Current interest in Cranio-Electrical Stimulation (CES) was initiated by Robinovitch, who in 1914 made the first claim for electrical treatment of insomnia. In 1958, the book Electro-Sleep reflected the first serious works on CES. This book inspired research in Europe and in Eastern Bloc countries, as well as in South America, Asia and finally the US. Because the CES equipment used was bulky, inconvenient, and unreliable, CES, like the electric eel, was abandoned in favor of drug therapies.

Improve energy level and physical well-being.

Most studies to date have shown CES as a reliable method to reduce anxiety and improve cognition in recovering alcoholics. Additional studies have shown CES to be an effective tool in reducing situational anxiety and improving IQ. We are here to help be your guide to a healthier new you. CES FDA Approved Anxiety, Mood and Sleep Disorders

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Co-Parenting, High Conflict Parenting, Anger Classes

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Co-Parenting, High Conflict Parenting, Anger Classes current Schedule below. These are smaller groups for quality experience as most around San Diego are 12-15 we are at most 6-8

Wednesday – 7:00 PM High Conflict Co-Parenting Group / Class

Monday – 7:00 PM SPANISH High Conflict Co-Parenting Class / Group

10640 Scripps Ranch Blvd, STE 101, San Diego, CA 92131

at FamilyCounselingSanDiego.com, Inc, 

CALL NOW to get your space as space is limited.

We offer 2 ways to pay for these 10 x – 90 minute classes.

  1. The first package is a one time payment of $400.00 that is $40 per class
  2. The second package allows you to make 2 payments of $450 which is $45 per. The first payment is due at registration and the second payment will be billed to your credit card 4 weeks later.
  3. You can pay by the class for $50 per class.

IF UNEMPLOYED OR ON DISABILITY WE HAVE A REDUCED RATE MOST COME INTO OFFICE FOR INTAKE TO GET ASSESSED AND TO DISCUSS THE LOWER COST PROGRAM.

We can work with your financial situation to help make it possible to keep the judge and court happy. It is your responsibility to pay on-time so we can write you letter of completion to the court. 

Giving you an idea of what to expect when you go to court or mediation and give you strategies to get the best results.The High Conflict PARENTING CLASS Diversion Program is recognized in many jurisdictions Nationally and Mr. Walter Patrick Martin, LMFT is an expert in helping parents through this most difficult time. The High Conflict Diversion Program is designed to help change the circumstances of high conflict divorce and custody battles by:

  • Providing ways to distance yourself from the other parent and disengage from the habits that keep you stuck in the conflict.
  • Helping you understand that the other parent can only come into your life if you allow it.
  • Teaching you how to communicate with the other parent without having to ever have a conversation or argument.
  • Teaching you ways to set boundaries so the other parent does not push your button as much as now. Learning new ways to ID triggers when overwhelmed such that you maintain control better and decrease arguments around your child.
  • Helping you understand the courts so you aren’t in fear of what the court might or might not do. 
LaTysa Flowers CPDPE

Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator (Latysa Flowers) call 858-663-2939 to ask any questions
Classes promote positive and nurturing parenting. Parents learn stress reduction and problem-solving skills along with positive discipline techniques with a Certified
Positive Discipline Parent Educator (LaTysa Flowers) and Family Support Specialist that build healthy family relationships. Discussion includes communication, self-esteem, child development and growth, substance abuse, domestic violence, and community resources.

The targeted audiences are caregivers of children with relationship challenges, behavior challenges, power struggles, sibling fights, communication problems, emotional and self-regulation (parent and child) problems, lack of motivation and follow through, problems with routines, problems with family work, homework challenges, problems following disciplinary actions, and lack of mutual respect.

Positive Discipline Parent Education promotes an internal locus of control, self-regulation, understanding others’ perspectives, and the desire to contribute in meaningful ways to the community. The model can be categorized as a form of “authoritative” parenting – one that promotes a strong parent-to-child connection, as well as clear boundaries/limits. This parent education program teaches parents specific tools to help implement authoritative parenting that has been identified by Dr. Diana Baumrind as optimal for child development and overall well-being. Furthermore, these tools are designed to help parents balance being kind and firm at the same time.

Examples of parenting tools include: encouragement, using curiosity questions, tone of voice, acting without words, validate feelings, and limit setting. This program gives parents alternatives to using rewards and punishment. Positive Discipline Parent Education is taught in groups using an experiential model. Participants engage with the material through role-play and activities that invite them to connect the new material with their current life. The model also gives parents/care-givers the opportunity to practice new skills within the safe environment of the class.

The goals of Positive Discipline Parent Education are:

  • Decreased harshness in parenting
  • Increased connection (parent to child)
  • Increased skill (parental and child) in self-regulation
  • Increased skill in communication
  • Increased skill in sharing and teaching responsibilities
  • Increased skill in solution-focused problem solving
  • Ability to build family connections through the use of family meetings

Classes also address building a natural support network and wellness plan for parents and caregivers.

All classes are presented in a trauma informed and culturally responsive environment.

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Military Deployment San Diego

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Military Deployment San Diego

In my work with military families, the issue of safety comes up a lot, particularly regarding children’s concerns for the safety of their deployed or soon-to-be-deploying service member. This concern can be especially prevalent in the wake of news of another community member’s injury or passing. While we want to ease the fears and worries of our children, not to mention our own, we also wrestle with the understanding that there is an inherent risk of safety whenever our service member is deployed. We want to make our kids feel better, and we don’t want to lie to them, but we don’t want to scare them, either.

How do I talk to my kids about safety?

***Note: These tips can also be adapted to help non-military families talk about safety. For example, families who have a parent that travels a lot and the child(ren) worry about the parent’s safety while traveling and/or the at-home family’s safety while that parent is away.

Children sometimes ask questions and state concerns about deployment and the safety of their parents. These questions may come up at any time in the deployment cycle. Here are a few tips for talking about safety:

Ask if your child has any specific questions or concerns.

Most children are exposed to some world events thru television, radio, internet, and/or friends. Children may worry about something they heard or saw, but don’t necessarily understand. Ask if/what your child may be worried about to open the door to communication. Follow-up in response with, “What do you think?” to get a better idea of what/how much they already “know.” This then gives you the opportunity to clear up any misunderstandings, or false beliefs, and provide honest, age-appropriate information.

And, just by asking, you also lets your child know that it’s OK to be worried or scared, and that it’s OK to talk about it. Research shows us that children, particularly older children, often take on additional responsibilities and care-taking roles during a deployment, including trying to take care of their at-home parent. Sometimes this may prevent them from expressing their worries or fears because they do not want to add to their parents already overflowing plate. Opening the door to this conversation yourself, instead of waiting for your child to bring it up, can be a great reminder that you are still there and never too busy to talk.

Remind your child of the security that comes from the deployed parent’s skills, preparation, and training.

Just like your child practices to get better at a sport or musical instrument, his/her parents practice, too. Military parents have prepared and practiced with a team to learn how to stay safe and protect each other while they are working. Talking about these similarities with your children is a great, concrete way to help them better understand some of the ways their service member stays safe. You can also connect how the child learns new skills and works as a team in school to the training the service member receives with his/her co-workers.

Identify all the things the service member uses to stay safe.

Talk with your child about the parent’s gear and uniform. If possible, allow children to interact with and feel the heft and weight of the helmet, the pants, the boots and other items. While describing the importance of each item, explain how it helps to keep people safe. For example, “This is the helmet that protects dad’s head.” “This is the vest that protects mom’s chest and back.” “Dad’s parka protects them from the rain and snow.”
Using this hands-on approach allows them to feel and see the uniform and safety gear. This hands-on interaction can be informative and reassuring for your child.

You can also identify the different things you use as a family to stay safe at home. This may include wearing your seat belts in the car, helmets when riding bikes, using cell phones to communicate in a crowded mall or store, or the use of fire alarms to alert you to any potential fire. This may help your child relate his/her personal experiences to that of his/her service member.

Support your child’s connection to the deployed parent using available communication.

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Teenager Angry Maybe Depression

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Teenager Angry Maybe Depression

A friend once asked me about his son, who was about to turn 20. As a teenager, the boy had a quick temper. His dad assumed that his short fuse was related to that awkward stage of life. But now, on the brink of adulthood, the young man seemed to be getting worse. He’d been less able to deal with criticism, minor upsets, jokes, or comments contrary to his point of view.

The young man’s father didn’t know if his son’s behavior was normal, or if it was a sign of depression or other problem. He also wanted to know how to talk with his son about his anger or bring him to Family Counseling San Diego for an assessment.

To understand this situation, it helps to put yourself in a 19-year-old’s shoes. Still inexperienced, there are big challenges ahead: graduating from high school, entering the work force (in a tough economy) or starting college, living away from home for the first time. These are stressful transitions for anyone.

But when a teen gets angrier as time goes by — or more rigid and defensive — it is a cause for concern. At the very least, this is not a very adaptive response to life’s challenges and it can make every day tougher than it needs to be. Whether it’s depression or just anger is probably less important than the fact that the teen is suffering and could use some help we have multiple male and female counselors to help at Family Counseling San Diego.

On the Cusp of Adulthood – Teenager Angry Maybe Depression

A 19-year-old is no longer a child, but neither is he or she a fully-fledged adult. This in-between state, which may be more apparent in wealthy countries, can extend well into the twenties. Some human development researchers have begun to call it “emerging adulthood.” In theory, it is a time of life when a person takes life’s possibilities more seriously. Emerging adults know that responsible choices matter. But they are still young enough that they aren’t ready to make lasting commitments.

People are reaching the usual adult milestones — financial independence or getting married and having children — later and later. It’s not clear if the trends are a natural part of human development or a product of the social and economic changes in our communities.

No matter what we call this stage, it presents a tricky time for parents and their children. Emerging adults must decide how much help they want or are willing to accept from their parents or anyone else. At the same time, parents must decide how much help is reasonable to give.

Taking a step back does not mean abandoning your child. By the time a child hits young adulthood, the goal is to replace direct help with encouragement about (and belief in) your child’s ability to manage these responsibilities on his own. And that can spur the process of maturing.

Understanding Anger

Teenager Angry Maybe DepressionThe origins of anger, and other feelings, vary from person to person. Anger could be a sign of depression or substance abuse (the National Institute on Drug Abuse has useful information about this, and advice about talking with a child about it.) It could be a manifestation of anxiety about “making it” in the grown-up world. It could signal some crisis, like trouble in a relationship.

It’s also possible that it’s just you. It is very common for children of any age, but especially teenagers, to be intolerant of parents’ input, whether it is constructive criticism, helpful advice, or being playful. It is even worse when your in the military moving around the country, Mr. Walter Patrick Martin, LMFT works locally with San Diego City Schools during the day one of the High Schools providing Military Family Life Counseling. He states it is an honor and enjoys every moment working with the teenagers at the school site in addition he is also a Star Behavioral Health Provider.

Make time to Talk

I advised my friend that he should calmly get this message to his son: He was taking his son’s problems seriously, and his son owed it to himself to take the problems seriously, too. I wanted my friend to remind his son in a loving way that he was becoming responsible for his own life, that he respected his son, and trusted his son’s ability to manage whatever problems came up.

Here are some different ways to start that discussion:

“You are your own person. I only get to see how you interact with me. Perhaps you are quite happy when I’m not around, but from my perspective you seem very unhappy.”
“You don’t have to talk to me about it. If you’re managing things on your own, I respect that. But if you are unhappy and you don’t want to talk to me about it, there are plenty of other people you could talk to.”
“You may not be interested in help right now, but I’ll always be willing to help you, or help you find someone other than me to help you, if and when you want it.”
Teenager Angry Maybe Depression Family San DiegoYour child may respond with anger. When you’re working hard to be helpful, and you’re met with hostility, it’s tempting to strike back. Resist that impulse. Your child may take the advice to heart and get help. But there is no guarantee he or she will report back. Or say thanks.

At least not right away. But if the growing up process takes hold, my friend might someday hear something like this from his son: “Hey, Dad. Remember a few years ago when I was being such a pain? Thanks for putting up with me.

(This article is adapted from a longer version written for InteliHealth.com.) Teenager Angry Maybe Depression

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Teenager Help Cutting Addiction

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Teenage Depression Cutting San DiegoTeenager Help Cutting Addiction

Did you know that there are website/blogs on “wants to cut yourself”. It’s important to note that self-injury is rarely life threatening. However, because of the revulsion many people feel about it, many therapist have an appropriate response. That said, it doesn’t matter how severe or minor the physical injuries are. It’s what’s going on inside that matters. Cutting, also known as self-injury or self-mutilation is the practice of manipulating a mood or emotional state by inflicting physical harm on a person’s own body. EMDR within 8 sessions a teenager will begin a new outlook on life and have a chance to change the behavior now. All the teenager needs is the desire to want to change.

What is the Payoff of Cutting?

Self-injury releases tension – both physiological and psychological – very quickly. A person who cuts can turn a state of overwhelm into a state of relative calm almost immediately. Cutting reduces panic to simply feeling bad.

Self Harm = Self Love (Cutting Addiction Begins)

It is a destructive coping skill like many others in our society – drinking, anorexia, or working too much. It does not mean the person is crazy, or that they are attempting suicide. Get EMDR started today to help gain a new outlook.  In fact, the self-injury may relieve tension to the point that the person no longer considers suicide.

Why Do Kids Cut Themselves?

Cutting also gives the child a great sense of control. Some kids do it as a form of self-punishment, but this isn’t always the case. Many cutters use it to express feelings that there are no words for. It also follows the addiction cycle.

Cutting is not done, as frequently believed, to “fit in” or to garner attention. Many teens will go to great lengths to hide the effects of the behavior in an attempt to avoid adding shame to their already fragile mental state.

One common denominator in kids who cut themselves is an inability to express their feelings. They either never learned how to do it or were invalidated when they tried. They have gotten the idea, possibly from an abusive home life though not always, that certain feelings are wrong and not to be articulated. They may have not had a role model for coping with troubling situations in a healthy way.

Some kids are predisposed toward this kind of behavior and it may take very little to set it off. Serotonin may be involved in making some kids more aggressive and impulsive than others, therefore more likely to self-mutilate. EMDR brakes the addiction to cutting. Once a kid tries the behavior and realizes the immense stress relief it provides, it may seem like a good idea for the next time the child is under stress.

Traumatized youth often display behaviors associated with PTSD or begin to self medicate with drugs. They may have changes in their sleep patterns: trouble falling asleep, interrupted sleep, restlessness, nightmares, not wanting to sleep in their own beds, or bed-wetting. Children may act out their trauma in their play with their action figures, dolls, or stuffed animals. Some become irritable, and overreact to situations, while others are numb, under react and have an “I don’t care” attitude. Hyper vigilance can be observed in some children. They lose the ability to discern between normal and dangerous situations and can misinterpret social cues, making relationships difficult. This also can be problematic in school as these children are constantly scanning their environment for danger which effects their concentration and attention. Learning issues are common in abused and neglected children. Current research also indicates that chronic traumatization can affect brain functioning leading to problems in regulating emotions and behavior, difficulties in attachment, problems with self soothing, and self injury. For many children the trauma is influencing current actions and their bodies react without the mind understanding why. They can exhibit anger, aggression, defiance, impulsiveness, and resistance. Teachers, case workers, foster parents, and parents often interpret this behavior as oppositional, attention seeking, or uncooperative. Adults misguidedly respond to the behavior with behavioral consequences that do not always work, instead of resolving the trauma. The child is unable to respond logically as the emotional part of the brain is active, and the thinking rational part of the brain is not accessible.

When to Seek Professional Help

Children, from infants to adolescents, are exposed to trauma as anything non nurturing is traumatic to a child. As the child develops and has difficulty developing interpersonal relationships depression in the form of anger and rage can develop. This is when you hear your teenager or pre-teen make statements like “I want to die.” Overall this teen or pre-teen has begun to go down the rabbit hole of negative thought patterns. This leads to cutting behavior and/or addictive behaviors toward substances. It is time to have a professional assess the situation. There is too many teens or pre-teens that are in pain with the developmental language ability to express the feelings which then turns inward. Go to a professional which can help lead your child out of the dark thoughts.

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